Last Meal Last Phat Thoughts

Well I just had my last meal as Phat Michelle.   What was it?   Nothing spectacular...Coney Island Grilled Chicken Pita with Ranch and some french fries.    I am not really even mourning food at all at this point.  My mind is in this and am just so freaking ready to get this damn show on the road already!  

I spent the evening last night with my best girlfriends who are all simply gorgeous ladies.    I think to myself in getting ready for this evening, am I the only one who sees me as this Phat?    I feel like a Size 12 but clearly am a Size 22.    I wonder what thin Michelle will look like?  Who will thin Michelle be?   Will I be as thin as these lovely ladies, or will I just be a little plump version of me 20 yrs ago?    I have not been below a Size 16 in probably 22 years, which would have made me 18 years old.  


I have so many questions....and no answers.   First and foremost, I am a control freak; not having any control and not knowing what the future holds is really very annoying for me.    I want to know...OK by July 15th I will be a Size ____, followed by, more dates and stats, etc.. Realizing this does not work this way and weight is going to be slow and steady, may just drive me fucking insane!


Here is my first weight goal I will write down.    Loose 40 lbs by September 19th.     The next time I get together with these girls, will be around this time for another 40 year  birthday celebration.    I want to be able to post a group picture from this fabulous evening and not look so phat.    I will post it right here, so the difference can be noticeable.   That would really make me happy.    :)


I think I have the best family and friends ever and the support and love for me is just fabulous.   My mom and Dad are going to come up from Ohio and stay during my surgery.   My husband...well he just surprised the shit out of me!    I start liquids tomorrow morning and will not really be able to eat anything of substance until June 4th.    I open the fridge and there is not really much food in there.   He says what you eat is what I'm going to eat until end of June!     He wants to also loose some weight and there is no sense in him "cooking" he said when I am having shakes and such a restricted diet.     So, we both are going to do this first part together.     Knowing how hard this is going to be for me, I am secretly so happy he is doing this with me.   The definition of a true best friend, Love you Buns.