Super size Me?

I am having an ah ha moment.    Serving Size?  This is one of main contributors to my "phatness".   A true serving size on a plate seems so inadequate, so small, so not worth while, such a tease, and yet so obviously APPROPRIATE!   Right now, I am in a Phase Before "pre-op diet", meaning I am trying to incorporate Nectar protein shakes (flavor seeking), trying other sources of protein to see what I like and don't like, drinking tons of water, continuing my normal working out, and paying very close attention to portion sizes.    After my surgery, I will only be able to eat a true serving of food at one setting.     Wow check out a Serving Size of my favorite weekend snack, Pringles.


Now:                                                       After:

A good visual is that my stomach right now is the size of a Football, but after surgery will be the size of an Egg.

Admission:   Today I ate 7 serving sizes of Pringles chips to fill my football, or was I already full and just could not stop eating them?  


See my Friends, this is why I need to have my stomach altered with! To trust myself to portion food properly is NOT going to happen.   I am an addict and a slave to my appetite.   Getting this surgery is like sending a cocaine smoking pill popping addict to a rehab clinic!    

Why hasn't anyone told me this before? My God, it took me 22 years struggling with my weight, before I realized.  


I have come to realize I have an addiction.   No matter how many times I plan to have the healthiest, properly portioned mindset, my addiction ALWAYS WINS.

Hello, My name is Michelle and I am an addict.

INSURANCE SUBMISSION TODAY!

THAT'S IT!!!! I got nothing else other than my package was submitted to my Insurance company this morning at 9:45am. I am so phyched and excited. Now, I just wait......tick tock, tick tock! I did not realize actually how excited I was, until my cell phone caller id said "DMC Harper...".

Food Idea

As I was reading through so many of the blogs I came across one today that had a variety of recipes, but one that really stuck out to me was the use of wonton wrappers.   She had 3 or 4 different meal ideas posted, but the one I liked the most was "lasagna" http://happilyafterlapband.blogspot.com.    

She was using these as a liner in a cupcake pan for portion control; putting a dab of ricotta cheese and ground turkey meat (proteins) and then some marinara sauce, topped off with fresh grated Parmesan cheese.   Baked 350 for 20 minutes or so.


I got to thinking what else could we do with these little WonTon wonders?     I think the portion size of the WonTon and the cupcake pay is amazingly on point!


Respond with your ideas.

Just a little something positive!

My LapB Surgeon

Today I had my one on one with my Surgeon.   Can I just tell you he is sorta a CUTIE!   Maybe I am a sucker for a handsome smart man.   Good lord I'm smitten!    I am going with the DMC {Detroit Medical Center}, my doctor's name is Steven Hendrick.    I have never in my life been to a doctor's office that actually paid attention to you and listened to what you had to say.   Normally, there is a wait, then another wait, to end up being pushed in/out the door so they can see another patient.    If this would have been my experience today, I would not have been happy.   Today was great!  Dr. H explained the whole procedure to me, which was kind of scary.    I cried a bit and he stopped and waited and then said when I was ready he would continue.    Really???    Ok sorry, but give me a minute to cry while you just sit there and look at me.  That was really nice of him :).   I cry because this is a major surgery and during any major surgery it is possible for complications or death.     Nobody wants to hear this, but its the reality.     I'd rather be PHAT and ALIVE.       I cry because I wish my Mom was closer to me, so she could attend the appointment with me.   Dr. H said, I could bring family to my appts. and he would be happy to answer any questions.    But, my Mom and Dad are 3 hrs. away...I know I am 40, but a girl needs her parents some times.  So, I cried over that too!       Again, I wiped away my tears and we continued ONWARD!  


I am so very excited to also find out that my insurance really did not give any laundry list of specifics, they said they handle all on a case by case basis.   Dr. H said that was a great sign and with all my documentation  I had provided, he had a really good feeling that my insurance will approve me through quickly.   Which means I could be heading for my LapB surgery sooner rather than later.        


We also discussed what a douche bag my former trainer is.   I told him all about him and his unwillingness to help me fill out my paperwork and his lack of understanding my decision for the weight loss surgery .
 Dr. H said: "well sweet-heart he sounds like a pompous asshole".    I laughed alot at that comment, because he has the smarts, the confidence and the balls to say it...because its TRUE!


Dr. H is no George Clooney, but he is handsome in my book.  

Maybe a new purchase!

My New Bike!     Hubby and I are heading out this weekend for some much needed outdoor activity.   I am so excited.  Not sure where we are going, but its happening.   I just need to get a helmet and we are Off.  Instead of sitting on our ARSES, we are going to move our bodies.        Bike is a TREK NAVIGATOR 2.0 series.


****EDIT**** Add on..... had to go and buy the Husband the "dude version".  He was so jealous, I took off on this thing Friday night.....its like riding a Cloud with wheels.  

Spinning, my Passion!

I always get asked about my Spinning obsession. So, ran across this article today and thought I would share. {"stuff that keeps me up at night", blog by emilyfellows.com.} ...

I heard alot about spinning. Spinning is a form of group exercise focusing on endurance, strength, intervals, high intensity and recovery, that involve using a special stationary bike.  

For those of you that spin or know someone who spins, you know that it's well.. addicting! Spinners look and say they feel great..better than they ever have before! They live for their next class and once hooked, rarely miss. I wanted to feel great too, so I decided to give spinning a try.  

The very next morning after I made this monumental decision, I jumped out of bed, motivated and excited to get started. I put on my cutest workout gear and dabbed on some bronzer, and walked rather excitedly to a popular spinning class. Once I got in the room, I got myself situated and on to the bike.  Then the class started rockin' and rollin' with the instructor shouting what we should be doing over the blaring music and motivating lyrics...and I was feeling pretty good.

As energized as I felt, I must admit, as a confident, self-assured woman, I still felt a little insecure watching my classmates spin rhythmically and rapidly. It's funny that when in the context of a spin class, other than how you ride and how long everything else is completely irrelevant to these people. It doesn't matter that you're wearing cute clothes or that you applied bronzer. It all comes down to passion for the sport and how hard the spinner will push this class. I pushed myself to pedal faster and stronger. Before long, I had hit the half-way mark 30 minutes. I had biked uphill, downhill, on the saddle, out of saddle, and at various speeds. My insecurities were replaced by a throbbing pain in my ass, but I continued to pedal and tried hard not to look at the clock.

After the hour was up, I got off the bike. The classmates were stretching and slapped high fives while I focused on trying to move one foot in front of the other in some semblance of making my way to the changing room, dripping with sweat! It felt rewarding to complete the session, but I also felt relieved - genuine authentic relief - that the experience was over. As I hobbled home, sore from my overworked legs and my numb ass, I felt proud. I had stepped out of my comfort zone. These spinners mean business, but at the end of the day exercising is an important ride and I envy they found their passion!

And there is they key word "passion".   You MUST find something that moves your body that you will enjoy; or it will NEVER become a life long habit.   

It is really that simple!   If you dont believe me, just ask any smoker and hey they fatties too with their addiction to carbs; or the drug addicts or an alcoholic. Get my gist, Trust, when we tell you..once you enjoy it, you will NEVER turn away.   That is without forceful intervention.   

It's me!

WELL, ITS THE REAL ME! ALL OF ME! HERE I AM! :))))

Missing My Group

January, 2011 I started an after work bootcamp with my girl S.   We hired a personal trainer and began to workout 3X  per week from 5-6 and paid our trainer cash for these workouts.    Quickly, word traveled thru the office about this and others began to join.    Some came and some went for a variety of reasons (too expensive, too hard, too much time, etc..).  But we always stayed steady and never waivered from our goal.


We would work all day, but at 4:45 the gym bags came out and real fun began in the basement of our building.   We originally had a female trainer, but quickly converted to a guy when she moved North of the city.   At this time, D joined our workout group.  


This was some of the most theraputic times I have ever had.  We would talk about men, marriage, sex, clothes, diets, fears, more sex, relationships, "tatoos".... and what began to happen was undeniable friendships were forming.   For once, I was for those few short hours each week... Michelle the person instead of Michelle the boss.   The workouts become almost a side effect to the Conversations!  


Our Group is now no more, we had our last workout March 26th.   D is moving out of state at the end of the month, and S is just well simply fabulously succeeding on her own and Rocking a brand new body to boot!


This brings me to my fear now of can I do this on my own?   I think I can and certaintly am giving this 100%.   I have completed 6 great successful workouts on my own and am an avid spinner with my Gym.  I spin 2-3 times each week and love it!     But cardio and strength training are two totally seperate things, so the strength training, bootcamp style kick your ASS workouts must continue and it has to come from me.  No trainer, no group, no crazy ass conversation to pass the time.   The ball is in my court now to take control of my own destiny.    So far so good!   I have been doing on my own and eagerly awaiting my news of when my lap band surgery will be scheduled. 


As for D, who is my friend way ..... before she is my employee, I am feeling in denial about your move.   But also hopeful now that you are no longer my employee our friendship will be so much more.   I think I was always just ever so slightly holding back, because of that :(   I am trying to look at this as a positive instead of the hole in my tummy where your empty seat sits at 2155 Butterfield.


 

The Psych Eval...

Well today was my appointment with a psychiatrist to find out if I am mentally understanding my decision to move forward with what is known as Lap-Band Surgery (insurance requirement).   It was an interesting 2 1/2 hour conversation with an older gentleman who converted an old house into an office.


Getting to the point.....we spent most of the time discussing what he thinks is post traumatic stress disorder.    He believes that I have this, caused from a time I got lost driving from Novi, MI to Troy, MI, but I ended up in Detroit by taking the wrong highway.  I stole $5 of gas from a gas station that had bars on the windows in Detroit, and I ended up turning my car around and headed West.  Finally getting my head back on straight, a stranger found me crying in my car at a 7-Eleven gas station. This stranger had me get something to drink and follow him back down onto the freeway and directly to I-696 heading back to Troy.


I find this interesting that this "psych dude" hits on a time approximately 12 years ago and right into some dumb story in my life.   Until today, I thought this was a "funny dumb" story, but as I began to tell it, I tear up and break out into hives on my chest.   I realize I have an irrational fear of getting lost....I do not think this has anything to do with my weight issues, but thought I would share.


We also spent ample time discussing my family, family medical history, my husband and my job.  All being said, we determined I am a happy person with a pretty great family upbringing.


I am a good candidate for this surgery and we parted ways.    


Thanks for reading Lap in Life!