Sunday, December 30, 2012

Welcome 2013!

Wow!   What an absolute mad year 2012 has been.  

As I look back, I realize I made one of the toughest decisions of my life.   The decision to move from Ohio to Michigan in 1998 by myself, was big!  ....  then it takes me 14 years to make another life changing decision, to get my lap-band to help me get the weight off that I put on due to the 1998 decision to move.   Life is funny that way, but I guess that is what living it is all about?

I know the worst regarding this journey is now behind me, the wait for insurance approval, the dreaded last meal syndrome, the horrific liquid diet, the recovery from surgery, the toll that surgery takes on your body.   I hated the soreness and weakness I felt from not being able to workout for weeks.  I was scared when it was hard for me to walk around my neighborhood.   How will I ever get thru spinning and another core workout, if I cannot even walk!   But I recovered and I kicked its ASS!!!!!! 
My loss has been slow and steady.   That is the best way I can describe it.    I have not any big weekly losses, except for when I did the liquid diet in May.   Perseverance and Patience are the two words that come to mind when I look at my WLS journey.    My lose is 48.7 for 2012, so close to 50, but yet not quite there for the New Year Celebration.
My lowest point was loosing my trainer Mark.    It has been almost a month and I am still upset and probably will never understand why he chose to abandon me half way thru my journey.  When I think about it, my heart and my stomach hurt, so much I cry.  His decision makes me feel as if I was not good enough to be his client.   When you are rejected in anyway in life, it hurts deep inside in your core and that pain often is the pain that stays with you throughout your life.   

My highest point is the magnitude of my ever changing body shape and my work-outs! I never missed, never canceled and gave 110% every single time.   My body is stronger today at 41 then it was at 21 and that is a FACT.    

I survived the closing of my favorite gym MAC, and began the search for a new gym.  The temporary loss of my beloved spin classes for my top cardio fix, was extremely difficult.    For 90 long days, this was also taken from me, but just when I thought gone forever...BOOM it was back just as fast it left.    Thank you Pureenergy2SP !   

So, I am hoping that my recent set-back with loosing Mark and the progression of my core strength training is also just temporary.  

I have found a new trainer, his name is Bryan Mason, but I will just call him Dude for now!  Bryan is with the parent company of Pureenergy2SP, called 2SP Athletic.   He is the first trainer dude in the cover picture, if you click this link!   Looks nice enough you think?     I have had 2 workouts with him and heading for my 3rd this morning.    I do like him, his style of training is different than with Mark, but then in some ways very similar.  Dude is very all over the place, he is all dudish-styled and wants results FAST with little rest between sets of whatever crazy ass shit he thinks up.   

I'll report later in January how it is going with Dude, but I am very closed off toward him at that moment, almost holding myself back.   I'm scared to like him, scared to get into a routine, scared to rely on him for fear he too will leave.      See I'm all fucked up!

I love my title picture for this post, it speaks volumes.   Most definitely in 2013 it is eminent  that I will for certain get SHIT DONE.   Failure is not an option!

My journey has been rough, some weeks the scale just stood still and stared at me as if to say "what you gonna do about this bitch?"... my heart has been hurt, my routines broken, my strength tested over and over.  


  1. Oh Michelle, you are so strong and you can survive anything. 50 is a goal number. One you picked to aim for. You aimed high. You strived. You achieved. It may have fallen slightly short but when you shoot for the stars and only land on the moon, you have not failed. xx

  2. You forgot to mention all the support from your "enabling" friends. I love you!

  3. You are doing great--slow and steady is just as good as fast and furious once you get to the end. I'm glad you found a new trainer. I've worked with three or four different personal trainers over the past 12 years and have NEVER had one quit on me or try to impose their own goals on me. I think something else must have been going on with Mark, like he needed to make room in his schedule and chose that method so you'd feel that it was your fault.

  4. I look forward to hearing how it's going with your new trainer. I can imagine it's hard to open up now, but you'll do great!

  5. Hi! Great year! You are crushing it! Thanks for stopping in at my blog ~ I'm catching up on yours - new follower! Here's to taking 2013 by storm!

  6. This is fantastic! Keep trudging along and GOOD LUCK =)