Sunday, October 21, 2012

DENIAL, ME CAN'T BE!


I have not blogged in 10 days becuase I'm living in DENIAL.   If I dont talk about it, or deal with it, or write it, maybe it will go away.

Well, here it goes:      I've managed to over work my right knee and I am paying the ultimate price.  I've been benched, just like NY's Derek Jeter!

I was on crutches 2 out of the past 10 days, in/our of Urgent Care and on some fabulous pain and anti-inflamatory drugs.   I'm off the crutches, but now have a "limp" and my lap-band surgeon said no more drugs!   I'm still not understanding what the big deal is with the ibruprofin, aleve, etc...  I need to know if you all follow this rule?   He says Tylenol only, but if you have been to the stores lately??? No Tylenol to buy.    So what is a Girl to do?

I have only had 1 workout in the past 10 days, so I feel like a loaf of wonder bread.   I'm heading to spin this morning to see if it's even remotely possible this girl can muster up a sweat!

My lapband surgeon DENIED me a fill when I desperately needed it, because I had been on a high dosage of ibruprofin for 7 days and then I admitted to being addicted to Aleve during our consult.   He said the fill would not be a good idea as my stomach was being aggravated by these meds. 


So, the scale is a BITCH!     I've lost 4.25 lbs in 5 weeks.    I'm still eating the same shit, but smaller portions!    Even with the workouts being ultra intense, I'm still not loosing as fast as I could if I would just eat healthy. 

I dont know why, but I just dont like healthy food.    I'm struggling to choose the right foods and its such a cop-out.      I have a top rated medial weight loss Surgeon bought and paid for 12 months, his Nutritionist and then an awesome Personal Trainer who I love to death and wants nothing more for me than success!   I put all this in place to help me loose weight this year, my support systems are there, so why am I absent?   

Is food really that over powering that I would walk out of this after a 1 year commitment and do only half ass?   


Wake the FUCK up Michelle and get your head out of your ASS.
 
I dont want to beat up on myself too bad in this post, because I have not given up and I still want this so much.   I'm just putting it out there once again, that regardless of the surgery it still takes dedication, time, effort and the ultimate sacrifice:     DENIAL of Food!  

 

9 comments:

  1. I think the headwork is the hardest part of all this.... I would say I eat good about 75% of the time. Which sucks... I can usually do REALLY good all day...then eat a candy bar. LIke WTF?!?! Why not just say no? Why not just leave it be? OH well, these are things that I dont' think will ever go away. But We will learn how to deal with it.

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  2. I specifically asked my doctor about NSAID pain relievers, and he said there's no issue with them. It's so frustrating that doctors can't just be consistent!

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  3. head games....man this is tough..I have good times where it all seems easy and other times it is more difficult. I have determined that when I am emotional and stressed it sometimes is harder for me to follow healthy eating..same if I don't set myself up with nummy snacks on hand. I really look to find healthy snacks I like to eat and make sure they are on hand..maybe you need to keep looking until you find them? I always check out eggface's blog for fun recipes and she can seem to find them. Good luck..you will get back there if you want!

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  4. Sorry you are having a rough time right now. concentrate on getting that knee healed!! I stayed off mine for 2 weeks and it took me awhile to get back on track... but you will. Hang in there.

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  5. I know all doctors are different but I would follow his instructions.

    About the food, I guess it's safe to say, we've been there, are there, don't want to go back there! lol

    Just try to remember that yes we get disappointed in ourselves but it's a good thing to treat ourselves good when we aren't being really good. :)

    And water, vitamins,(especially vit c) protein, are good things to help get things started again.

    Sandra

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  6. If only there were a "head" band that was just as effective as the belly band....until there is...keep up the good work!! Just blogging about it is a step in the right direction!

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  7. You can do it girly! You've lost 40 lbs so far and that is nothing to laugh at!

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