Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Lovely Addict

Wikipedia says.......Addiction is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse dependency consequences, or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors.. Classic hallmarks of addiction include: impaired control over substances/behavior, preoccupation with substance/behavior, continued use despite consequences, and denial.[3] Habits and patterns associated with addiction are typically characterized by immediate gratification (short-term reward), coupled with delayed deleterious effects (long-term costs). . . this state creates the conditions of tolerance and withdrawal. Tolerance is the process by which the body continually adapts to the substance and requires increasingly larger amounts to achieve the original effects. Withdrawal refers to physical and psychological symptoms people experience when reducing or discontinuing a substance the body had become dependent on. Symptoms of withdrawal generally include but are not limited to anxiety, irritability, intense cravings for the substance, nausea, hallucinations, headaches, cold sweats, and tremors.

I start out today with a Pretty post picture that indicates an Addict coupled with the definition of Addiction for a reason.  

Some addictions are painted as pretty, just like my picture!
I have a story to write that I has been deep down breeding inside me for a few weeks.   Its about my former Personal Trainer JJ.   JJ took me, my confidence and my ability to train my body to an enitrely new level.  He pushed me to do things, that any normal person my size would never do and not even think of doing.   He showed me to do things that a trainer I worked out with prior for 2 yrs never did.  The way he trained me, gave me just enough of that natural high I could feel from working out my own body, to make the leap of faith to WLS I desperatly needed.   

My body responded and loved that high right after an intense workout! . . . and for that I owe him my life.  It has forever changed me and the way I train my Body now.  I will not settle for mediocre workouts, it must be all powering or nothing.
Everyone is always amazed at how often and how hard I work out.
It's because I'm addicted to TRAIN HARD!

The Inner Warrior in me was Released!

I bring up JJ now, because he has been on my mind.  I mention him early on in my April posts in my blog, but then nothing afterwards. 

First, you need to understand that when you train with someone like I do, you become close.   You say things and discuss things when your in stressmode that normally would not be discussed.   You build a bond and a trust that cannot be broken.  Why is it like that for me?  because, I have to let my guard way down ... Atleast, that is how it is for me, probably because I'm fat and do not have a perfect body.    Because I am an Addict, and when you show an Addict a way out of their misery, if even for a brief period . . . they will respond with everything they have to escape it!   

I want to discuss Addiction and the unfair way it manifests to society.   My former trainer JJ is in Prison for 15 years.    Why?   Because he too was an addict, just like me.   An addict of food like me???   NO, his drug was cocaine, and in between his Commitment to help me with my addiction, he was silently struggling with his own.   I never knew, he never said a word.  All of our sessions, were always about me, my body, my goals, my problems.   He never unloaded on me, about his issues.  
I never got to say goodbye, I never got to discuss his addiction with him, one day he was there for me and the next he was gone!    Gone to jail for robbery to get money to pay for his cocaine, so he could fuel his body full with his drug of choice.
I have a real problem that he is in jail for an addiction and I get to walk free and live life and have the exact same problem.    My addiction is food, which in America is not a crime.  We can eat and eat and fill our body with fast food, high calorie pretty drinks, reward milestones like birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc... all with FOOD.  
Robbery and Drugs you say . . . he should be in Prison?  Well seriously, I'm not being funny when I say this, but it is kind of funny so laugh if you must.  But, if i'm being truthful with myself...      "picture a before WLS Michelle without food for a few hours and show me a large pizza or a plate of my mom's biscuits and gravy or a Starbucks Mocha and then tell me I cannot have it!     You know what, I might have pulled a knife too!   There was not much that was going to keep me from getting my food fix."
Last week, I wrote JJ a letter and gave him an update on me.   My WLS decision, the results so far, and ofcourse about my new Trainer Mark.   It was really write this letter to him.    Hey thanks for helping me...guess what I got WLS i've lost 45 lbs and have a new awesome Trainer I love.  My life is great, sorry yours sucks and your in prison for 15 years.  
I'm not a bleeding heart, but if you read the definition of an Addict that I just posted, we are the same.   JJ and I are the same, we suffer from the same issue.  My drug is legal and his is not.   I got help in time, he did not.

The reason I choose to write JJ in prison, the reason why I cannot forget about JJ, the reason my stomach hurts when I think of him in Prison.....
Its Guilt.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Just Saying !

For my WLS ladies!    I truly enjoy my blog-land friends, and I read your blogs diligently.

Just putting a little pep in our steps today, as we head toward this Holiday week.

Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Workout Wednesday

This is how I see myself yesterday!
Ultimate Workout Wednesday!
 Yesterday I attempted and completed the Ultimate Workout Wednesday.   
5:30a-6:30a Personal trainer Mark time.    Did a series of TRX squats, one legged TRX squats, numerous lines of walking lunges with a 10 lb weights, some TRX Trickery move that I'm not even sure how I completed it, but apparently I did.   1 min-planks and some other tortureous moves, that I have probably choosen to forget!
6:30p-7:30p  Spin Time!   .... and not just any old boring Spin class, but the best of the best.    My old spin teachers from my gym that closed down in August got together and opened their own fitness business.   2SP Pure Energy opened up this week Nov. 12th.    I am just so excited and grateful!     Blair Jackson, rocked my world and just like that 21 miles were Completed!


Lets make Wednesdays = Work-out Wednesday!   You dont have to go crazy like I did, but Wednesday the most awful day of the week, we can change the meaning of HUMP Day one lap band diva at a time.    We will get out there and Move our Bodies and shake em like we got it all figured out!
This looks the TRX trick I did?  Yep this is what i'm going with!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

I Love me some Trader Joe's

Just wanted to drop a quick post about my Favorite Grocery Store. There are so many great things, but mainly they are Healthy and Cheap. I can always find something to snack on or for lunch or dinner that is one of those meals you look forward to having during the week.
Today I found this great Spinach and Kale Reduced-Guilt Yogurt Dip and paired it with TJ's Pretzel Thins for a quick lunch.
2 tbsp 30 Cal 2.5 F 1 Sug 1 Prot
My lunch was a Whopping 160 calories and it was great!
Speaking of Pretzel Thins, I cannot wait to try these.  They were not out yet, but damn baby .... they look yummy.   
These might not be as healthy, if interested . . . Coming in 14 days to a TJ's near you.
Completely, unrelated isn't The Bog cute in his coat?   Yes he is a boy dog and wearing a pink sweater; but that is all they had in his size.  Bog has Cushing's Disease and lost all his hair 7 years ago, so he needs clothes to keep warm. 
Silly Dog!
Bogart The Basset Hound

Friday, November 9, 2012

Liebster Blogging Award

Colleen has nominated me LapsinLife for a Liebster Award.  Liebster is a German word and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.  


 The Rules
- Once you're nominated, write 11 facts about yourself.
- Then, take a look at the 11 questions the person who nominated you asked and answer them.
- Get your thinking cap on and come up with 11 questions of your own for your nominees to answer
- Then choose the 5 bloggers you want to nominate (they must have less than 200 followers) & let them know they've been nominated (there are no tag backs - you can't nominate the person who nominated you).
- Complete this post and then link it to the person who nominated you (in the comments of their blog).

 11 Facts about ME:
1.   I absolutely love my job.  
2.   I have a trucker's mouth.
3.   I was Born on the Fourth of July.
4.   I love the feeling of a good workout!    Not much better feeling that you can do for yourself.  Well maybe 1 thing, but we wont go there.
5.   I live 4 hrs away from my family and friends, moved for my job in 1998.
6.   I have 4 dogs and they are all short legged long and floppy eared.
7.   I have been married for 12 years and have no children.  
8.   I'm funny.
9.   I believe in living life right and treating others with dignity and respect.   
10.  I'm a Liberal Independent.    I have republican views on economy issues and strong democratic views on human rights and mankind.
11.  My best friends at 41 are the same people I was best friends with at 16.  

My 11 Questions to Answer:


Weirdest thing you have ever eaten?  

something called tuna gasbacho.   It is like raw sushi food.   I ate it because everyone else was, and I did not want to seem "so hillbilly" at a fancy restaurant with Attorneys that I worked for a the time.   Terrible!

What crazy activities do you dream of trying someday?

Unplanned spontanious sex!

Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what was it for?

I'm grew up in the 70's and 80's ofcourse I do.   Bowling, Softball, Volleyball! 

Dog or Cat?


Why do you blog?

For me, so I dont get skinny some day and forget how much work it took to get there.

What would you do if you didn’t have to work?

work with animals in need at shelter or Vet

What is your favorite movie?

Probably, Dirty Dancing

How often do you get a haircut?  Describe your worst haircut

Every 6 weeks like clockwork.  I once allowed my friend to cut my hair in an
Asymmetrical  bob, which means crooked as SHIT . My parents were horrified.

What books on your shelf are begging to be read?

Oh gosh I hate to admit this, but I hate to read so nothing.

What quality do you like most  about yourself?

My sense of humor is off the charts!    I'm funny, witty and cannot stand to be around people who take themselves so seriously.    

What quality do you like least about yourself?

Lack of empathy.   

My 11 Questions for my Nominees:

1.    If you could have lunch with anyone who would it be, where and why?

2.    Paid in Full Vacation:    Relax in Hawaii or Shop in NY, London & Paris?

3.    Favorite Restaurant?

4.    Favorite type of exercise?

5.    Are you still in contact with your childhood bff? 

6.    McCartney or Lennon?

7.    If you did not need to work for $$$, what would you do with your time?

8.    Favorite ice cream?

9.    Do you believe in Love at First Site?

10.  Do you ever regret getting your WLS?

11.   Tell me something about you I would not find out on your blog cause its not about WLS.

I nominate:

Megan at BigBottomBanded


Sunday, November 4, 2012

Operation Big Business

My personal trainer makes house calls!
He came and left with my Scale!    WTF
He came and left with a signed Promise Contract from me:
I MLB will exercise 5 hrs a week, fill out my food journal and keep healthy foods at home.
I MLB will prepare my snacks and meals for the week before the week begins.
I MLB will not have bad eating habits when I go to social events.
I MLB will not Quit on Myself.
I MLB will loose 10 lbs by December 12, 2012.
He came and called Bullshit!   He came and questioned my husband on what I eat.  He came and went thru my kitchen like Hurricane Mark.
He shot down all my excuses.   He dont even care that the holidays are coming up!   He said I can celebrate the Holidays next year with Food, once I'm 85 lbs lighter.
I got kinda snippy with him and said "you want to come to my next fill appt too?"   Shut the Front Door....he said he had a conference call set up for Monday with my surgeon and nutritionist!   
What what . . . this just happened!
Weightloss UPDATE 
I've lost -2.75 lbs in 14 days, I have changed some things around this month and it appears to be working.
I officially hit my - 40 lbs this week, so..... I am very happy about that!  
NSV Alert
I bought some new jeans, they are super cute!    Still in the phatty section, but coming way down in size.   This time last year, I paid $110 for a pair of Michael Kors Jeans that I could not even get zipped.   I starved myself for a month to get into them for my BFF's 40th Party.     Those jeans just went into the "too big to wear pile".   Yaaaaaaaa ME!!!!!!
One of the most beautiful women to ever walk this earth, and she was a healthy Size 12.  
Thank you Marilyn for keeping it real.